I only ever had one blood Grandparent growing up. I had/have great step-grandparents.. I don't even like using that word. I would never call my sisters my half-sisters. Just want to talk today about my blood grandparents I never got the chance to know. My mothers parents both died when she was very young. I think she was 3 or 4 when her mother died, leukemia I think, and her dad died when she was 8 or 9 maybe? I wanna say some kind of heart failure or stroke. My dads mom died when he was 14, also heart failure. His did, my grandpa just died recently 7 or so months ago, I want to talk about him too. First though...
To the Grandparents I never met. I often wonder what you would say to me if you were here. Would you be proud of me? Would you spoil my daughter rotten. Would you call just to talk and tell me you love me? I never met any of you but I feel you around me all the time. I wonder what life would have been like growing up with all of you in my life. I think my parents would have been so different had you not died so early in their lives, but then I realize I might not be here. Is it you I see in my dreams? I vaguely remember the pictures my Dad used to show me of you Grandma but 3 times now I have been visited by a lady in my dreams and I just get the sense its you. She never talks to me, just smiles at me, makes me feel like everything is going to be ok. Sometimes I will do something and I can almost hear a voice talking to me. Am I crazy? Just making it up in my head? I don't know... but it comforts me. To my Grandma Sophia.. I can feel you around to. I hope you are around mom to. I know she is so hurt from her childhood and the death of you and grandpa. I know almost 100% that she would totally be a different person if you were still around and things were different. You always hear though that there is a reason for everything. Maybe I am the reason. I would have rather not been born so my parents would not had to suffer such a heartbreaking loss. Of course I was though. I'm so thankful I was.
And too my Grandpa that was here for 25 years of my life. I love you. I am so sorry that I didn't get to come home and see you one last time. I am so thankful you got to met McKenzie and I could just see your eyes light up every time we came to visit... which wasn't enough and I wont even go into the guilt I feel about that. I have so many memories with you and I will never forget them. You and Uncle David keep watching over daddy! He has also gone through more then I will ever know I'm sure and he is still here, keeping faith... and making me faithful.
If anybody reads this... and your grandparents are still around. Hug them and tell them you love them. If you don't already, realize just how lucky you are to have them in your life
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